Hooray! I'm Imperfect!

Have you ever toyed with the idea of letting go who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are right this second?

God let go of that idea for you a long time ago on your behalf, and as Brene Brown says it, God is calling you to the wholehearted life you have in this moment.

If you haven’t heard of Brene Brown, you’re missing a treat.  She has been featured on a PBS special, and has written a book entitled “The Gifts of Imperfection.”  What gifts?  My perfectionist inner critic voice just cringed a bit.  Do you have one too?

I’m learning to embrace that inner critic voice who tells me that I won’t be loved, appreciated, noticed, valued or found worthy unless I arrive at “perfect.”  In the past, it’s been a losing cause—chasing after an ideal I will never reach.  I’m learning, however, to listen objectively to that voice, knowing that she wants the best for me, and is afraid that I will be judged harshly by others if I don’t obey her every command.  Another part of me in the past has tried to squash her voice—annihilate her if I could, but that simply makes her come back with a vengeance, with friends like shame and anger at her side.  What a mess!

The gift can be found in the confession that we all have that inner critic, or a number of inner critics in my case, that if truth be told, are trying to protect us, although with great zealousness and over-abundance.  I’m learning to calm the critics by listening to them as objectively as I can, noticing if the reason they came into being might be some woundedness that occurred in my past, and building a trusting relationship with them, so that my True Self, the Authentic Self God created me to be, can breathe deep with all the parts in me, imperfect as I am.  

The best gift, however, is the connectedness that occurs when I share my vulnerabilities with others.  It rarely fails—What, you feel that too?  Have you experienced this?  Wow, I’m not alone, and Boy, we are so human, aren’t we!  When one of the actresses during the Oscars tripped going up the stairs, I suspect we all reacted like the audience did—oh, are you all right?  It’s okay, we’ve all worried about tripping, and hey, you survived!  The audience showed their concern and acceptance with applause that night, and I’m sure comments later in the evening to reassure her.  I have to shake my head at all the times I’ve worried about such things, and am realizing that even if I make a huge guffaw, it all will be okay and human bonds between other human beings just as imperfect as I am will grow stronger.  I’m more likely to belong and accept belonging when I drop the pretenses to be perfect, and simply be myself.

Brene has this great line in her book:

The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. 

 It’s our FEAR OF THE DARK that casts our joy into the shadows.

Just for today, try embracing, accepting, and laughing with your imperfections, knowing that there are gifts abundant in them—connectedness being up front and foremost.  Practice a little self-compassion, smile, and wink at the rest of the human race.  We’re all here with you, loving you all the same, God especially.

Grace and joy,

Julie