Friday, October 5, 2012

Stop-Change-Start

It's no secret I love books.  It's natural I would have favorite authors within those books, too.  My tastes are very eclectic--but within a theological realm, which gives me fodder for thought and conversation, within a limited, but important realm.

I'm sure eyebrows raise on many fronts when I claim my favorite authors as Anne Lamott, C.S. Lewis, Brennan Manning, Frederick Buechner, Bill Moyers, Tim Hansel, Fred Craddock, Robert Benson, William Bausch, William J. Abraham, David Lowes Watson, Ann Weems--and John Westfall.  And that doesn't count children's authors.

Confessionally, when I haven't seen a new book come out in a while by one of my favorite living authors, I check up on them on Amazon.  I've done that for years with John Westfall.  Years have gone by, and my hunger for his delightfully non-academic but theologically solid writing grew to concern.  Couldn't find him anywhere, until early last week.  Of course, I clicked the 1-click 2nd day delivery purchase button, and in God's great serendipitous way, it was just the book I needed, just the time I needed it, and confirmed my suspicions.  As Westfall states, sometimes you simply have to Stop-Change-and Start.

I've done more than a fair share of that trio-dance during my lifetime, but the sad part is my past stopping has been just short enough to pray, but to rely more on my own bootstraps for strength.  Sooner or later, one hits a wall that looks like a barrier, but is simply an obstacle.  And while it may just be an obstacle, the strength it takes to look at options and climb one's way over, under, around or through simply isn't there.  I've set a poor example for my family, my friends, my flock.  The damage, however, is mine.

So it's time to stop--really stop--to consider healthy change, to get ready for the next start.  That's what I'll be doing for the next month.  A good part of me can't even imagine what's in store during this sabbatical time, but I know I'm extremely blessed to have the chance to do this.  I'm not sure at all that I'm exaggerating by saying this is going to be a crossroads, healing time for me, one I've needed now for quite a while.  As Westfall also says, "Sometimes we have to set things aside and create room to receive the love and strength to carry us forward."  Inotherwords, I need to make time for God to do some work with me!

My prayer for each of you is that you take seriously God's commandment for sabbath time.  It's not simply a divine suggestion, but a real commandment that I've broken.  I cherish your prayers for healing during this time, and ask for your understanding.  I'll be taking a sabbatical from social media too--yes, taking off the Facebook Queen crown :-) .  But I know with the West End staff and family, you will all be in good hands.

Grace and joy, especially today,
Julie