Fire Drills

It was fire drill time a few minutes ago at the church.  On floors Two through Four, the lights flashing and loud sirens were just a minor inconvenience.  All of us on staff, however, have an important responsibility to keeping our day and play schoolers safe, so we each go to our assigned places to help the children up the steps, out the doors and into the playground or lawn areas, keeping them contained and calm.  In the two-year-old classroom to which I am assigned, there was deep wailing for being taken out of their comfort zone, which is highly understandable.  What surprised me was that some of the children started crying as we came back into the building! 

I chuckled as I climbed the flights back up to the third floor.  Change is hard, whether it’s for our own good or not!  And there are times when I simply don’t roll with the punches, but have to have a good cry to release the stress.  There are other times when I reach out for help in my unsettledness.  Another set of eyes can often help me see past the fears. 

The best help I’ve found, however, is to be still (in my body or mind), and surrender myself to God.  When I breathe deeply, God breaks through to remind me that in this moment, it’s okay.  If it seems NOT okay, God works through others to help carry me through, but more often than not, helps me realize that while it may not seem okay to me, in the bigger picture, it IS going to be okay.  If I calm down, I can remember that God has worked out and through my past fears.  And since the best predictor of the future is past behaviors, and because God is love and not fear, remembrance of history (my own and the world’s) provides comfort for the future.  Stories of fear are always conquered by good. 

So my unsolicited advice today is, as best you can, be still even if it takes a bit of a cry to get there, and know God.  Know love.  Trust God.  Trust pure love.  It WILL be okay.  After all, it may just be a drill, and not the real thing.

Grace and joy,

Julie

Promises, Promises

Let your soul be at rest.  God will not fail you if you keep your promises and abandon yourself to God’s will.

Those words belong to St. Teresa of Avila.  I want them to be my words too.  There are days when worries and anxieties seem to take possession of me.  I can’t focus on anything else, no matter how hard I try. 

“Stay in the now!” I yell at myself.  “What do you, Julie, have to worry about?  Look at people around you, with tough rows to hoe, some in life or death situations.  How silly you are!”  Except the exclamation point doesn’t come with a smile.  I frown at myself in the mirror, and if you’ve ever seen me frown, well, I can be intimidating, let me tell you, especially when the brow furrows, too.  It’s the “mother’s glare” shot to myself.

Yep.  I know all the pat answers. 

You can look at the past, but don’t stare.

Don’t dwell in the past, instead get the hell out of there.

Almost all the things you worry about never happen.

Worrying is projecting fear into the future, and it isn’t real.

There’s always a place for self-examination.  But I’m learning that yelling at someone, even myself, doesn’t make nearly the dent in learning as compassion and kindness.  Here I am, getting closer to 60 than I could have ever imagined, and practicing putting an arm around myself to say, “Okay.  Deep breath.  Excellent.  Is this life or death?  Can we get through just this moment?  We are very resourceful, and if I can’t figure this out on my own, I can ask for help.”

The best is that we AREN’T in this alone.  We are a community who loves and accepts one another, just as we are, encouraging one another and sharing joys as well as heartaches.  We promise that to God and to each other in our membership vows.

But best of all, we are here to remind each other that God, Godself, will not leave as alone.  God is always here, dark days and bright days.  God’s will is love, not fear. 

L-O-V-E.  That’s God’s promise to us, and God NEVER breaks God’s promises.  That’s a fact.  And a beautiful covenant relationship, all around.  Promise!

Grace and joy,

Julie

Valentine's Day Blues?

I want to pass this on, written by a life coach friend and shared by a mutual friend.  One of those pieces I wish I had written, but I'm sure it will touch someone this day....

Client’s Question: "Since I'm not in a romantic relationship right now, I really dread Valentine's Day, even more than the holidays. I feel like hibernating until the 15th, because everything in the stores and on television points to romance. HELP!"

It seems common for those who are not in a relationship at the time of Valentine's Day to feel lonely and left out. February 14th is a special day that has been set-aside in order to honor "love", and most commonly in America, it is most famous for being a time of celebrating "romantic love".

I have always been a romantic, at heart, and Valentine's Day presented a special occasion for me to express myself to my partner in a loving way. But, when I was not in a relationship, I certainly felt frustrated and alone with thoughts of jealousy for those around me, who seemed to be successful in having someone to share Valentine’s Day (comparing myself to others was one of my quickest ways of guaranteeing feelings of aloneness and sometimes forms of depression).

Today it is clear that in order for me to have the healthy, balanced relationship I want in my life, I must first develop a healthy, balanced relationship with myself. This means first of all, I am learning to love, honor and respect myself, therefore allowing myself the capability of offering this same love, honor and respect to others. Consequently, when Valentine's Day rolls around each year (whether or not I have a significant relationship) February 14th has become for me a day of “expressing love”. I share a similar excitement, but my focus is entirely different. My day is filled with gratitude for all the love that I receive from my family and friends throughout the year. I often contact family members and special friends to let them know of their importance to me and to share my gratitude for the love and the connection we have. I am amazed at how this change of perspective and action has altered my experience of Valentine’s Day. This day is now filled with love and appreciation, whereas before I mainly experienced fear, resentment and loneliness.

So, as the 14th of February approaches and if you find yourself missing that special love-one in your life, remember to feel and express a grateful love to yourself and those close to you, and allow this day to be what it was originally intended to be, a day of celebrating love. 

Barry Teller

A Heart soaked in Love alone is a Sacred Heart

Religious Expectations

There are times when I cringe when the subject of religion comes up.  Now, that may seem rather odd, given my vocation, but I am mortified by people who claim to speak for Christianity, make bold statements about what God’s opinion is, or threaten others in the name of faith.  It’s not hard to picture standing on the Mt. of Olives hillside with Jesus shaking his head and weeping over the state of his children.  Or as Anne Lamott said it in a more modern twist, it’s enough to make Jesus drink his vodka straight from the cat’s dish.  I’m smiling as I said that.

I ran across some notes I took in a class long, long ago.  Let me share them with you this morning, even though the source is now lost in the decades:

I have NO right to expect my religion to

1) Enhance my respectability.

2) To be a source of external culture or sophistication.

3) To ensure financial stability.

4) To guarantee me freedom from pain or suffering.

I DO expect my religion:

1) To give me the discovery of and assist me in the mastery over the inner world.

2) To afford an alliance with a Power that should give me a sense of security in a dangerous and tragic world.

3) To assist me in living peacefully with others.

4) To put in me an attitude, which would enable me to face the ultimate future, with optimism, unafraid.

Now, an expectation isn’t a right.  It’s an opportunity, and I have to do my part to be open and willing to look at different perspectives.  Through God’s grace, it’s an opportunity that is ever present, ever available, ever loving, ever reconciling.  For that I’m beyond thankful!

Okay, I will climb down off my soapbox now.  But speaking of soap, here’s something to smile about—

Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash

10.  I was made to wash as a child.

 9.  People who wash are hypocrites.  They think they are cleaner than other people.

 8.  There are so many different kinds of soaps.  I could never decide which one was right.

 7.  I used to wash, but it got boring so I stopped.

 6.  I still wash on special occasions, like Christmas, Mother’s Day and Easter.

 5.  None of my friends wash.

 4.  I’m still young.  When I’m older and have gotten dirtier, I might start washing.

 3.  I really don’t have time to wash.

 2.  The bathroom is never warm enough.

and the #1. reason I never wash is, People who make soap are only after your money!

Enough said.

Grace and joy,

Julie