Promises, Promises

Let your soul be at rest.  God will not fail you if you keep your promises and abandon yourself to God’s will.

Those words belong to St. Teresa of Avila.  I want them to be my words too.  There are days when worries and anxieties seem to take possession of me.  I can’t focus on anything else, no matter how hard I try. 

“Stay in the now!” I yell at myself.  “What do you, Julie, have to worry about?  Look at people around you, with tough rows to hoe, some in life or death situations.  How silly you are!”  Except the exclamation point doesn’t come with a smile.  I frown at myself in the mirror, and if you’ve ever seen me frown, well, I can be intimidating, let me tell you, especially when the brow furrows, too.  It’s the “mother’s glare” shot to myself.

Yep.  I know all the pat answers. 

You can look at the past, but don’t stare.

Don’t dwell in the past, instead get the hell out of there.

Almost all the things you worry about never happen.

Worrying is projecting fear into the future, and it isn’t real.

There’s always a place for self-examination.  But I’m learning that yelling at someone, even myself, doesn’t make nearly the dent in learning as compassion and kindness.  Here I am, getting closer to 60 than I could have ever imagined, and practicing putting an arm around myself to say, “Okay.  Deep breath.  Excellent.  Is this life or death?  Can we get through just this moment?  We are very resourceful, and if I can’t figure this out on my own, I can ask for help.”

The best is that we AREN’T in this alone.  We are a community who loves and accepts one another, just as we are, encouraging one another and sharing joys as well as heartaches.  We promise that to God and to each other in our membership vows.

But best of all, we are here to remind each other that God, Godself, will not leave as alone.  God is always here, dark days and bright days.  God’s will is love, not fear. 

L-O-V-E.  That’s God’s promise to us, and God NEVER breaks God’s promises.  That’s a fact.  And a beautiful covenant relationship, all around.  Promise!

Grace and joy,

Julie