The Gift of Forgiveness

I love gifts.  I love the surprise and the thoughtfulness, but more than that, it reminds me how blessed I am in my relationship with the Giver of the gift.  One of my core values is to be more grateful for the Giver than the actual gift itself, which helps me put relationship in perspective.

Our church-wide emphasis during this season has centered on the membership vow of “Gifts,” and we’ve offered studies on spiritual gifts and practices, sharing the abundance we have with others.  That is so important!  But this day, I want to think about a gift we can give ourselves, called “Forgiveness.”

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.  My beloved Anne Lamott says “To not forgive someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.”   Ain’t that the truth!  When someone has hurt me, or offended me, I get angry, or feel victimized, and resentment and bitterness take hold of my heart.  Worse than that, the offender just goes on about their business without a second thought, and I’m left stomping my feet, mulling over the woundedness, and running a loop in my head over and over about how mad I am.  Surely I want the offender to suffer as much or more than I have, my little inner critic cries.  But the damage I’m doing is to me.  The pain from my anger isn’t really serving me.

Forgiveness is not about the other person, first and foremost.  It’s for us.  Forgiveness is the act of letting go of the power the other person or situation has over us, that feels like it is choking the life from us.  The truth is, we have the key to unlock the choke-hold.  And that’s to let it go.  Let the story of the grievance that has been thrust upon you slip away from its power hold over you.  If you can’t do it on your own, the Holy Spirit is always present to give you the strength from which to draw.  You have to want to forgive, and that may be the hardest obstacle of all.  Give God the desire of your heart, and God will indeed chip away your hardheartedness.

The world will tell us many myths about forgiveness, mostly reasons why we shouldn’t forgive.  While I believe in justifiable consequences, Jesus himself gave us the most powerful act of forgiveness.  “They know not what they do,” he said.  And he forgave them, and in that act forgave us too.  I guess forgiveness, perpetual forgiveness, is paying it forward, from which I get the most benefit.  Simply amazing, in a grace-filled way.

Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight, and like most things worthwhile, shouldn’t be a simple reaction.  And most times it's downright hard to do.  But it is healing, oh so healing. And worth it.

That’s the view from my desk this day, Beloveds!

Grace and joy,

Julie

Gold Rocks

As I am packing and sorting, preparing for the task of moving, I keep shaking my head at all the stuff that apparently accumulates without my even noticing!  I have so much to share, and stories of The Little Pantry That Could, a ministry of the West Nashville Parish that simply gives what it has from what has been given to them, to persons in need for free has been an inspiration to me.  

A tale that brings a chuckle to my heart as I work at what could be an arduous task is this—supposedly written by Aesop:

There was once a miser who sold all his possessions and bought a large piece of gold.  He buried the treasure in the earth near a large wooden fence.  Each day he dug up the gold and admired it.

A gardener observed the miser’s daily ritual and wondered what the old man was doing.  One night, he crept to the exact spot where he had seen the miser and discovered the magnificent gold piece.  He immediately placed it in his pocket and promptly left the country.

When the miser discovered the empty hole the next day he let out a cry of anguish.  A neighbor heard the scream and came running to the aid of her friend.  Full of grief, the miser told her the entire story.

“Stop your crying,” the neighbor advised, “and find a stone of equal size. Paint it the color of gold and put it back in the earth.  Each day you can come and pretend that it is still here.  The stone will serve the same purpose, since you never meant to use the gold anyway!”

Ouch!  Hit by a painted gold rock, I’ve been!   If you see me making box loads of trips to that Little Pantry That Could, just wave—and maybe you’ll join me!  You can find them at 4710 Charlotte Avenue, and it's true that they give out what they have for free, and if a need arises, they often put out a call and the need is fulfilled.  How cool and Christian is that!

Grace and joy from my desk this morning,

Julie

Is God Showing Through?

A little girl and her mother were leaving church one Sunday (I won't give away any names).  The mother asked her daughter how she liked church that day.  The girl replied that she thought it was good, but that she was a little confused.

"The pastor said that God was bigger than we are.  Is that true?" she asked.

The mother responded that it was indeed true.

"She also said that God lives inside of us.  Is that true, Mommy?"

Again the mother replied, "Yes."

"Well then," the little girl said, "if God is bigger than us, and if he lives inside of us, then shouldn't some of Him show through?"

How is God showing God's self through you?  Mark Twain once said that you can't throw a stone before you find someone in greater need than you are.  The need may be a smile, a word of encouragement, a prayer, a cup of coffee, a note in the mail.  It may be filling up a grocery sack with nonperishables, gathering clothing for Goodwill, sweeping leaves off your neighbor's walk.  You know, a fellow at Kroger's more than a week ago looked me in the eye, and smiled.  A real authentic smile, you know?  At me, not just glancing at anyone.  I still remember it.  His smile made my day.  I will probably never see him again, but he made me feel like I mattered, and it lingered.  Just a smile. That's all it took.

And I saw God peeking out of him!

That's the view from my desk, anyway.  Off to do a kind deed--but I won't need to throw a stone to find someone to give it to.

Grace and joy,
Julie

One Important List

 Rev. James Martin, S.J, likes lists as much as I do.  Really.

He likes them so much, as a birthday present to himself, he tweeted 12 things that, had he put them into action, would have made his life a lot easier, had he known them when he was 25.  (He's 50 this year.)  Some are bits of advice that wisdom figures have shared with him, he says, and took years to sink in.  Others are the result of some hard knocks.  A few are insights from the great spiritual masters that he's adapted for his own life.  He shares them with 25 year olds--I share them with you.  2012 reminded me of each of them, and my resolution for 2013 is to tape them to my mirror, so I will be reminded often of these same truths that reflect my life, too.  I hope, along with James, that one or two may touch your life as well.

1. First up: Stop worrying so much! It's useless. (i.e. Jesus was right.)

2. Being a saint means being yourself. Stop trying to be someone else and just be your best self. Saves you heartache.

3. There's no right way to pray, any more than there's a right way to be a friend. What's "best" is what works best for you.

4. Remember three things and save yourself lots of unneeded heartache: You're not God. This ain't heaven. Don't act like a jerk.

5. Your deepest, most heartfelt desires are God's desires for you. And vice versa. Listen. And follow them.

6. Within you is the idea of your best self. Act as if you were that person and you will become that person, with God's grace.

7. Don't worry too much about the worst that can happen. Even if it happens, God is with you, and you can handle it. Really.

8. You can't force people to approve of you, agree with you, be impressed with you, love you or even like you. Stop trying.

9. When we compare, we are usually imagining someone else's life falsely. So our real-life loses out.
 i.e. Compare and despair.

10. Even when you finally realized the right thing, or the Christian thing, to do, it can still be hard to do. Do it anyway.

11. Seven things to say frequently: I love you. Thank you. Thank you, God. Forgive me. I'm so happy for you! Why not? Yes.

12. Peace and joy come after asking God to free you -- from anything that keeps you from being loving and compassionate.

Pretty good wisdom, I reckon--at least that's the view from my desk this chilly first week in January.

Grace and joy,
Julie