Hooray! I'm Imperfect!

Have you ever toyed with the idea of letting go who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are right this second?

God let go of that idea for you a long time ago on your behalf, and as Brene Brown says it, God is calling you to the wholehearted life you have in this moment.

If you haven’t heard of Brene Brown, you’re missing a treat.  She has been featured on a PBS special, and has written a book entitled “The Gifts of Imperfection.”  What gifts?  My perfectionist inner critic voice just cringed a bit.  Do you have one too?

I’m learning to embrace that inner critic voice who tells me that I won’t be loved, appreciated, noticed, valued or found worthy unless I arrive at “perfect.”  In the past, it’s been a losing cause—chasing after an ideal I will never reach.  I’m learning, however, to listen objectively to that voice, knowing that she wants the best for me, and is afraid that I will be judged harshly by others if I don’t obey her every command.  Another part of me in the past has tried to squash her voice—annihilate her if I could, but that simply makes her come back with a vengeance, with friends like shame and anger at her side.  What a mess!

The gift can be found in the confession that we all have that inner critic, or a number of inner critics in my case, that if truth be told, are trying to protect us, although with great zealousness and over-abundance.  I’m learning to calm the critics by listening to them as objectively as I can, noticing if the reason they came into being might be some woundedness that occurred in my past, and building a trusting relationship with them, so that my True Self, the Authentic Self God created me to be, can breathe deep with all the parts in me, imperfect as I am.  

The best gift, however, is the connectedness that occurs when I share my vulnerabilities with others.  It rarely fails—What, you feel that too?  Have you experienced this?  Wow, I’m not alone, and Boy, we are so human, aren’t we!  When one of the actresses during the Oscars tripped going up the stairs, I suspect we all reacted like the audience did—oh, are you all right?  It’s okay, we’ve all worried about tripping, and hey, you survived!  The audience showed their concern and acceptance with applause that night, and I’m sure comments later in the evening to reassure her.  I have to shake my head at all the times I’ve worried about such things, and am realizing that even if I make a huge guffaw, it all will be okay and human bonds between other human beings just as imperfect as I am will grow stronger.  I’m more likely to belong and accept belonging when I drop the pretenses to be perfect, and simply be myself.

Brene has this great line in her book:

The dark does not destroy the light; it defines it. 

 It’s our FEAR OF THE DARK that casts our joy into the shadows.

Just for today, try embracing, accepting, and laughing with your imperfections, knowing that there are gifts abundant in them—connectedness being up front and foremost.  Practice a little self-compassion, smile, and wink at the rest of the human race.  We’re all here with you, loving you all the same, God especially.

Grace and joy,

Julie

Spotty but Not Contagious (Well Maybe)

Our membership vow emphasis during Lent is centered on Service.  

Service is not works righteousness.  We serve the world for Christ’s sake, not our own, from a place inside ourselves that is grateful for what we have and what has been done for us.  That’s the agape love—acts of love that are unconditional, reflecting the light of Christ in us—that’s meant to share.  It’s its sole purpose, not to get God or anyone else for that matter to love us, accept us, or even rack up celestial brownie points in order to give us unholy fire insurance!  We just do it, with no expectations.  

It’s certainly easier said than done!  And perhaps as hard, to accept that kind of loving act.  Sometimes it makes some of us uncomfortable.  What shall I do in return?  Surely a thank you isn’t enough.

Well, in one way, it isn’t enough, because most of us aren’t wired to take, take, take and never give.  But that uncomfortableness is probably the bits inside of us to urge us to pay the gift forward, doing for others as has been done for us.  

I’ve had an uncomfortable, unusual illness this past week—an allergy to some unknown something which has reacted by bringing welps, hives and tremendous itching from my head to my toes.  I’ve had antibiotics and steroids to stem the symptoms, but with little if any relief.  I have felt like a second grader again with measles or chicken pox!  Thank goodness for Maybelline, or I would scare the mailman.  My internist has no idea what the cause is, as most of the obvious suspects have been present all along, as far as we know.  (And no, I haven’t been ingesting any mammal protein, due to my Alpha-GAL systemic issue).  

I am grateful for an understanding staff, for the concern of neighbors and church members.  One of our church members, despite my assurances that my pantry was well-stocked, appeared at my door yesterday with a boatload of healthy comfort food and items—chicken soup, fresh fruit, yogurt, whole wheat muffins, some oatmeal skin soaking bath stuff to help calm my itching skin and even a gel mask to settle my itching eyelids!  Bringing a box of Cookie Monster cookies, a bottle of cinnamon and Kleenexes made me smile.  Did I physically need any of those things?  No, but I could feel the agape love, better than any other medicine or gift!  

THAT’S Service.  Christian service.

Can I repay her?  Maybe.  Can I pay it forward? You betcha.  Will I?  Hopefully, every chance I get.  Service is contagious like that.  My itching spots aren't contagious, by the way.

You know, it’s awfully fun working for the Kingdom, sometimes.  

That’s the view from my desk this morning, itching and all.

Grace and joy,

Julie

February Trifecta!

What a week!  Jazz Mass on Tuesday, Ash Wednesday, and a Thursday Valentine's Day!  And for two thirds of the festivities, I was down with laryngitis.  I usually experience the silence twice a year, seasonally in the Spring and Fall.  I had such fun during Jazz Mass that I could feel the croaking coming on by the end of the service.  I'm just now coming out of hoarse squeaking, but the cough is still lingering.

In my quiet time, I had time to listen.  I listened to the robins and cardinals flocking on the trees outside my window.  I listened to the children waiting for the bus in the morning.  I listened to a radio station celebrating the end of the Trio of Terror holidays--Christmas, New Years, and Valentine's Day.  I'd never thought of those three together like that, but I imagine the dj's family gatherings are reminiscent of a Robert Earl Keene song.

If I had had a voice, I would have invited others to share so I could listen to them.  Listening is a precious gift.  Listening says "I care."  Listening says "What you have to say is important to me."  Listening says "I want to understand you better."  In our busy lives, filled with television and various forms of social media, we often take those around us for granted.  How special and intimate it is to turn off everything and simply spend listening time with our partners, our children, our parents, our friends! And if the time spent together seems too intimate, too awkward, try working a jigsaw puzzle together, or a card game.  Those were the best times with my kids, who would let the conversation go where it may during those times together.  Secret:  It works for adults, too.

Back to my tea with lemon, and toast.  I'm sure I'll be back to normal (okay peanut gallery, as normal as I get!) by Sunday.  In the meantime, I think this listening gig is one I want to practice more of.  

Grace and joy,
Julie

The Gift of Verbs

We have the coolest youth group!  During their winter retreat last weekend, they reflected on gifts—not gifts of stuff, but gifts of verbs.  Here’s a sampling:

The Gift: BE

When you help the world become better you become better too.

The Gift: GIVE

The things you don’t want could be the very things someone else needs (like in your closet).

The Gift: NOTICE

Change happens more quickly as soon as we decide to pay attention.

The Gift: LISTEN

Cut out the noise of the ‘now’ in order to listen to the cry of the crucial.

The Gift: ASK

Things change when people start asking the big questions.

The Gift: VOLUNTEER

The giving of yourself and your time is the only truly priceless gift (although Pastor Julie sees this as ministry for us Christians, rather than volunteering, which is a slight but important difference).

The Gift: SHARE

Sharing your dreams invites someone to join you in making them a reality.

The Gift: LOVE

The best way to see the potential in someone is to love them.

Don’t you love the insight?  And I believe we can find hope in our todays as well as our futures with kiddos like this, don’t you?

So if you needed a shopping list for this Valentine’s Day, pick a verb, any verb.  It’s a terrific starting and ending place.

Grace and joy,

Julie