The Gift of Forgiveness

I love gifts.  I love the surprise and the thoughtfulness, but more than that, it reminds me how blessed I am in my relationship with the Giver of the gift.  One of my core values is to be more grateful for the Giver than the actual gift itself, which helps me put relationship in perspective.

Our church-wide emphasis during this season has centered on the membership vow of “Gifts,” and we’ve offered studies on spiritual gifts and practices, sharing the abundance we have with others.  That is so important!  But this day, I want to think about a gift we can give ourselves, called “Forgiveness.”

Forgiveness is a gift we give ourselves.  My beloved Anne Lamott says “To not forgive someone is like drinking rat poison and waiting for the rat to die.”   Ain’t that the truth!  When someone has hurt me, or offended me, I get angry, or feel victimized, and resentment and bitterness take hold of my heart.  Worse than that, the offender just goes on about their business without a second thought, and I’m left stomping my feet, mulling over the woundedness, and running a loop in my head over and over about how mad I am.  Surely I want the offender to suffer as much or more than I have, my little inner critic cries.  But the damage I’m doing is to me.  The pain from my anger isn’t really serving me.

Forgiveness is not about the other person, first and foremost.  It’s for us.  Forgiveness is the act of letting go of the power the other person or situation has over us, that feels like it is choking the life from us.  The truth is, we have the key to unlock the choke-hold.  And that’s to let it go.  Let the story of the grievance that has been thrust upon you slip away from its power hold over you.  If you can’t do it on your own, the Holy Spirit is always present to give you the strength from which to draw.  You have to want to forgive, and that may be the hardest obstacle of all.  Give God the desire of your heart, and God will indeed chip away your hardheartedness.

The world will tell us many myths about forgiveness, mostly reasons why we shouldn’t forgive.  While I believe in justifiable consequences, Jesus himself gave us the most powerful act of forgiveness.  “They know not what they do,” he said.  And he forgave them, and in that act forgave us too.  I guess forgiveness, perpetual forgiveness, is paying it forward, from which I get the most benefit.  Simply amazing, in a grace-filled way.

Forgiveness doesn’t happen overnight, and like most things worthwhile, shouldn’t be a simple reaction.  And most times it's downright hard to do.  But it is healing, oh so healing. And worth it.

That’s the view from my desk this day, Beloveds!

Grace and joy,

Julie